Now hear this; batten down all hatches, set Condition 4, secure from battle stations. Make a hole sailors and man the rails; scuttlebutt has it that John Brackeen; my nephew, has been commandeered by Davey Jones to be our WEBMASTER. The Master-at-Arms has him assigned to scrape away the barnacles, swab the deck and get this site squared away for Captain's inspection. From the Jack at the forecastle [fo'ksul]through the Goat Locker past the Galley; Port and Starboard he'll be pushing the holy stone like a sailor three sheets to the wind. Don't try to take the wind out of his sails; he's no Cracker Jack but he doesn't need a chit; he's got a Z-gram from Elmo authorizing all manner of cumshaw.